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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27112577">Idiopathic Love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ohisdiamandis/pseuds/Ohisdiamandis'>Ohisdiamandis</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Direction (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Complicated Relationships, Didn't Know They Were Dating, Established Relationship, Gen, Light Angst, M/M, Mpreg, Multi, Not Beta Read, Not Cheating, Oblivious Harry, Sex</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 17:03:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,200</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27112577</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ohisdiamandis/pseuds/Ohisdiamandis</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>And then he realises. </p><p>They are <em>not</em> together. </p><p>Sure, they've known each other for what feels like forever and they've been living in the same flat, always in each other's pockets for... give it or take eight years. </p><p>Their twins just turned five years old and their doggie Richardson is the cutest with the most boring name in all the land.</p><p>Sex is amazing and all.</p><p>But they are not <em>together</em>. They're not <em>in</em> <em>love.</em></p><p>You know what I mean?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>60</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. I am</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey. I have something important to share in this lil box but I forgot, this is my little reminder.<br/>(HOURS LATER IM EDITING THIS)<br/>Here! I remembered. In this world I created you'll find that men can get pregnant, they're called carriers. Louis is a mom, like that's how it is.<br/>Also this work is mostly done but I still don't know if I should post it.<br/>lots of love xx.</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The rumour and turmoil it leaves behind.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Louis was falling asleep, right there in the posh restaurant Nick had invited him to, perhaps more like insisted annoyingly enough that he decided to have a night out. Rizzoli's was definitely the evidence he needed to give his mom to prove and finally announce he's entering his old age, since it's barely a quarter past seven.</p><p>But you really can't blame him, Georgie had a bad case of stomach bug the night before and Matty got increasingly anxious every time he heard his brother throwing up, refusing to go to bed. With Harry out of town and their nanny, Mrs. Natalia, taking a few days off, Louis had a pretty difficult night with the twins. </p><p>Nick doesn't seem to mind though, Louis thinks he hasn't even realised how heavy his eyes look, the lad too nervous with whatever information he had to tell him urgently enough that he couldn't wait until morning. </p><p>"How was your salad?" Nick asks with a barely concealed nervous smile.</p><p>Despite his infinite tiredness and how much he wants to be wrapped up in blankets at home, Louis never wants Grimmy to feel nervous or uncomfortable around him, a good ironic comment should make the trick, "Good, good. There's chicken in it and no avocados, for once."</p><p>Nick's smile turns genuine almost instantly.</p><p>"You really ought to stop your hatred of avocados and side chicken if you're going to keep ordering salads at every bistro we ever go to."</p><p>"Oi, you git. I like salads alright and I don't judge the grudges you hold against your food." Louis says, holding out his fork as a threat. </p><p>"Perhaps because you foking hate cherry tomatoes too" Nick teases, doing a poor imitation of Louis' northerner accent. </p><p>"Don't copy me, I'll fok you up" Louis sticks his fork to what's left of his friend's steak before he cannot keep up their banter without giggling. </p><p>"You've seriously lost your touch, parenthood has made you less sassy." </p><p>"Oi! My babies are sassy as it is. They're five. I had to tone it down or my home would be in complete anarchy!"</p><p>"I can't imagine much can be done, the apples don't fall far from the tree." </p><p>Louis chuckles, "Now you just sound like Harry." </p><p>Their laughter dies down as well as Nick's smile turns sour, as if he only now had remembered what he was there for. He takes a deep breath.</p><p>"Yeah, well... I really need to tell you something, I don't know how are you gonna take this but I need you to know" </p><p>And only because Louis doesn't have time to beat around the bush, much less time to have gloomy conversations, he says, "Grimmy, Harry's mom can only look after the twins long enough to avoid losing her mind. Don't be so dramatic and cryptic about it. Tell me." </p><p>Louis took another sip of his very stupid non-alcoholic lemonade to seem nonchalant while he let Nick gather his thoughts.</p><p>"It's just...I've been thinking about this for weeks okay? I've been trying to convince myself that I'm being delusional but—" Nick hesitates once more, Louis can't help but stare at him. </p><p>Truth is, he's getting nervous with all the mystery but Grimmy has always been such a self-centered asshole that Louis is almost sure this is all about a new gym best friend that he found as a replacement for Harry, who had to drop the gym all together two and half months ago. He might feel guilty or rather, Grimmy could want to bitch about how Harry was choosing his career over his friends. </p><p>Louis knows Grimmy wouldn't mean it anyways, they both know what a huge opportunity Harry felt it was, there's a huge something-something company, whose CEO is an apparently important old man, that signed a non-disclosure contract with G&amp;M Styles C.A. </p><p>Harry put himself in charge of what Louis assumes is the construction of a skyscraper for this big company, which is why he's been traveling constantly to somewhere down in London or something like that, he didn't pay too much attention at the time and they're yet to talk about it properly in person. </p><p>But–</p><p>"I think Harry is seeing someone else."</p><p>Those seven words dance around his brain on repeat until all he can hear is white noise.</p><p>Nick speaks fast, a pained expression on his face, lips a thin line every time he pauses. A sight so very un-Grimmy like that Louis can barely process it, much less understand what he's saying, of course after his initial freeze up, his first reaction is to laugh at Nick.</p><p>"What? Are you mental?" Louis rolls his eyes, letting another laugh escape. "Why, in the damn bloody world, would you think that?" </p><p>"I'm serious, Tommo," Nick whines, "I don't think he's doing it, I know it, I even saw it, with my very own eyes. On multiple occasions and I have proof.</p><p>Okay, that changes matters quite a bit. Louis feels his heart sink, the overall exhaustion he already felt, deepens. He blinks a few tears away and enunciates his next few words too carefully to be him talking. "I don't understand what you are talking about, Nick." </p><p>"I've seen him pull over to her house, late at night, I've seen him there early morning," Nick says remorseful, "She's always dressed like a preppy lil bitch, high heels and pristine head to toe–"</p><p>"I- I think you've  made your point." Louis cut him off with a sinking feeling in his belly. </p><p>Nick's brows frown deeper, concern too evident on his face, "She lives across the street from Dorothy, she has some pictures. I'm so sorry, doll." </p><p>It's an upper east class slag, then. That's how Dory calls all of her neighbors, that's even how she calls herself. For fucks sake, Louis can barely breath at this point, his head is spinning so fast and his heart is out of control, "That's... Harry wouldn't do that to me. If he had a... he would tell me immediately, we've always said that. You're confused, surely there's another explanation." </p><p>He can feel the tears prickling his eyes, building up along the knot in his throat. He knows he doesn't have the fucking right to be jealous or devastated by the news. Perhaps a little hurt but there's that</p><p>It's just... he got used to it, it's been years and with the twins and shit, things have been way too chaotic for either of them to even think about that old agreement they had when Louis got pregnant, there was no going out or having dates and meeting new people. There were only long nights with diapers, bills, baby bottles, first illnesses, postpartum mess and those legal mishaps, doctor appointments, first words and steps. </p><p>Still, they had a fucking deal. A deal they hadn't explicitly talk about for half a decade but An Outstanding Deal nonetheless, with fucking capital letters. If they could watch 'Love Actually' every Sunday since they met, because it was an Outstanding Deal then Harry had no reason at all for making this some sort of affair bullshit. </p><p>"Love, I don't know why. I thought I was imagining things and I was going to confront him first but tonight I had enough," Nick expression hardens significantly, "He told you he was going out of town yesterday, didn't he?"</p><p>Louis didn't think his heart could sink any further, "I-I... well, yeah he did. Why?"</p><p>"He's at her house right now, probably since yesterday, I saw his car. Then this morning, they had like a bunch of mates coming over according to Dots. They had like housewarming gifts, plants, pots, pans, lamps, it's all really weird."</p><p>The feelings of despair grow increasingly, Louis usually thought he was a confrontational person who didn't let others crush him. He never even realised how much power he gave Harry to do just that. </p><p>"Oh my fucking dear Lord. I'm sorry Grimmy but I've got to go back to mine"</p><p>Nick, who had quietly waited for him to process what he was hearing, suddenly startled. "Wait what? Darling dear, aren't you gonna do anything about this?"</p><p>"Well, did you at least see them kiss?" Louis asks, half up his seat. </p><p>"No."</p><p>"Has Dory?" He swallows the knot in his throat, avoiding his friend's eyes. </p><p>"No. But that doesn't mean– Louis, are you seriously gonna leave and there's that?" </p><p>"What else do you suggest it's appropriate? Besides picking up my babies and going home." Louis says, utterly annoyed.</p><p>"I'm not suggesting–" Nick frowns, sighing, "I don't want you to live a lie, Lou. He's cheating, I don't need to see them shagging to know."</p><p><em> He needs time, that's all. Please give him some time. </em> </p><p>"I won't live a lie. He has some explanations to do and–" </p><p>"I think you deserve a lot more than just explanations, Louis. That's a dickhead right–" Nick rants.</p><p>"I– look, Grimmy. You're one of my best mates, alright?" Louis interrupts his friends rant, "You've got to understand that Harry can do the fucking hell he wants as can I. I'm hurt, of course. He could have told me or whatever. Anyways..."</p><p>"What the fuck are you talking about Tomlinson? You've got kids, a dog, a home together, even a bloody nanny to have the occasional breather." Nick replies, his eyes open so wide they're almost bulging out, "It's been over 8 years, are you two still on "we're not together" bullshit? I haven't heard you talking 'bout it since you popped ya babes out. Me God, I can't believe ya," </p><p>The fastest Nick talked, the ticker his accent got, it made Louis dizzy. </p><p>"<em>Ya</em> spouse said it was a <em>happy</em> accident- I've never seen you happier than when <em>y'll</em> had your babies. The fucking sappiest couple."</p><p>"Grimmy. Don't get your knickers on a twist, stop and breath."</p><p>"I'm sorry, I don't want to overreact– it's just, what the fuck Lou? Is this the life you wanted? What is going on?" </p><p>"Of course I don't– uh, want him to be with anybody else. But I just... I mean– we never made it official, did we? We never talked about anything, life got in the way...I— " Louis sighs, it's been a long time since he gave any of this a real thought, always so busy with being a mother, a brother, a son, a...husband, whatever. Their relationship status became a distant thought, lost in the mess of life, with every year things stayed virtually the same, was another year of forgetting about it and with that; any and all conversation that might come with. </p><p>"Yeah, we never even— Not when we started fucking, not when I got pregnant, not when the twins were born, not the millions times people talked about us as if we were a married couple. It just kinda happened. " </p><p>He thinks Nick isn't going to reply when a few seconds of silence settles between them, but it doesn't last nearly enough at the end.</p><p>"Eight years. You've been together for eight years and you think it's okay for him to screw you over because you used to be friends with benefits a million years ago? Just because you never made it official?" Nick goes over and recaps, "Which by the way, more official than babies, living together and that fuck-ass ceremony you had when the twins turned 1 year old... Yeah <em>right</em>, search me." Grimmy snaps, sassy and sarcastic as always, looking not only annoyed but offended on his behalf.</p><p>"That was when we baptised them, what are you saying?" Louis can't help but whisper as a reply, he knows, deep down, that Nick has a point. Not that he'd ever admit it. </p><p>"You kissed. In front of all your relatives, friends and coworkers. The priest blessed you." Grimmy looks like he wants to smack him, at least of that he's sure. </p><p>"Yeah... like a– like a family," Louis stops for a second there, frowning, "okay, I see how that could have seemed off."</p><p>"Yeh, you bloody do, don't ya? You lot have been looking cozy in those Christmas Cards for years" Grimshaw counters back, rolling his eyes so far back his mother would say one of these days his eyes are not gonna roll back. </p><p>"Harry loves to think he lives in a romcom, we used to send Christmas Cards when we were roomies too." </p><p>"So, it doesn't mean anything?" Nick's left eyebrow is raised so high, he almost looks funny. </p><p> <em> Try not to laugh and focus </em>. </p><p>"It's not meaningless but also it's not…"</p><p>"Bonkers!" Nick lets slip in a high pitched voice. </p><p>"What?" Louis snaps, frowning. </p><p>"Tommo, you know I love ya but you're full of shit."</p><p>Maybe he is. Full of shit that is, it could all be a web of lies he told himself over the years or perhaps he had completely forgotten about it. </p><p>"We always said whatever happens, happens and that it was temporary, until one of us found someone else."</p><p>"When did you agree to this?"</p><p>"Uh… a bit before I got pregnant? No, no. The same week I got pregnant… I think?"</p><p>"Are you even listening to yourself?"</p><p>"The point is," Louis emphasises,"Harry and I were only gonna raise our little spawns together. That's it." </p><p>"Oh, so he found the one now, you love him and you're not going to do anything about it. That's great, congrats to the massive tit in all the land." </p><p>"I don't love..." Nick eyebrows rise so high, he knows it's stupid to deny it anyway. "Well then, I do love him and I don't know what happened or if I was to blind to see it before but he obviously doesn't love me the way people thought, so drop it." </p><p>His friend looks at him bewildered for a minute, confusion tinting his face till it finally clicks. </p><p>"You're gutted," Nick says, incredulous, "Louis you're not even mad, are you?" Nick has that bloody look on his face where he can read him like a book. </p><p>"Grimmy..." Louis whispers. </p><p>"I would be losing it, you know? Hell, I. Am. Losing. It. At the very least-" Grimmy starts to rant. </p><p>"Okay, okay. Cease fire, massive twat. Yes, I am disappointed. I am gutted because either way, Harry and whoever slag are still on, aren't they?" Louis pauses, "Nobody cares about what happened before, nobody cares if I am going bonkers mad because it is what it is and that's all." Louis says as steady as he can, trying his hardest not to let emotion break his voice, he trusts Nick knows him enough to stop pushing him, enough not to show him any pity.</p><p>Nick seems to understand him, if only Louis knows he won't let it go forever, at least Nick'd give him a couple a days to think things through. He doesn't need someone to fight him back right now, he needs time. That much Grimmy would always understand, his next words soothing him because of that. "Oh doll... I'm so sorry. Do you want me to give you a ride?"</p><p>"No, I can drive. Thanks, love. Gotta go pick up my babies, Anne will get suspicious otherwise."</p><p>Nick seems reluctant, he must be thinking <em> 'suspicious of what exactly? </em>' but he lets it go quickly enough thank goodness; because Louis couldn't in a million years bring himself to explain how he feels like everyone who looks at him can tell how heartbroken he is, how much of a bloody idiot he feels.</p><p>Grimmy' silence permeates the air around them but Louis still is able to keep it together long enough that he seems calm all through the last moment, when they split the bill and part ways with a hug and a promise of a call in the morning. Louis is so fucking tired, numb all over.</p><p>He watches Nick get in his own car, freeze up next to his fancy SUV. Harry got it for his birthday last year. It had been a good birthday, a Range Rover it's a pretty damn good gift but nothing the dinner party they held in his mother garden, family and friends. </p><p>
  <em> Get in the fucking car.  </em>
</p><p>Some part of him doesn't want to think about it. Their history is not really complicated, never has been. They met, they were roommates and became the bestest best friends, they did everything together till one day it just kinda happened, they were in bed and they were kissing, days went by and they didn't really stopped. They were friends still, they weren't in love. It wasn't complicated, they had a thing that was good and easy, it wasn't weird nor awkward. Actually it was the most natural thing in the world, part of the plan all along because someday they'd be married with other people and they'd be best friends still. Best friends who remember how fun it was when they had a thing but that's 'bout it. </p><p>
  <em> Scratching an itch.  </em>
</p><p>Even when he got pregnant, they didn't panic. Louis thought it was because it didn't really changed their plans. Best friends who have little devils running around, that's the hardcore version of besties who get married at the same time. In all honesty, they were way more shocked about the fact Louis was a carrier and he wasn't aware of it. Yes, he enjoyed those <em>back</em> orgams the most of all but he never noticed anything weird about his body. </p><p>At the end the thing is, they were busy. Louis may or may not had developed feelings along the way. Who cares anyway?</p><p>Back then they had been too busy, they sorta talked around that fact that they were still having sex. Louis held his tongue until he felt it was useless even thinking about it. What they <em> did </em> do was having long conversations about raising their child together and about how nice would that be. Harry had been over the moon the day the doctor told him they were having twins. </p><p>So, yes some part of him doesn't want to think about the good times. Mostly because it's all he's able to think about at the moment. </p><p>He drives without paying much attention, irresponsible as it is, at least he wasn't speeding and too soon he's in front of Harry's childhood home before he realises.</p><p>The windows are open, which most likely means an afternoon of baking with Nan. He takes a deep breath before knocking. </p><p>"Mummy, I ate two entire cookies after dinner cuz I was so proper!" Matthew says instead of greeting him as soon as Anne opens the door, bashfully trying to conceal how he was probably asleep in his gran's sofa a few seconds earlier, like he always does.</p><p>"Didn't you now? Hello munchkins." Louis replies with a smile, it was surprising how his beaten spirit could be uplifted with his baby boy's smiles, however temporary.  </p><p>"Mummy, can I have two extra kisses? I didn't get one or two cookies." George says, hugging his grandmother by her legs, looking sheepish. </p><p>"Oi, that's not true! And that's not proper!" Mattie exclaims, "Nana Anne is too nice, she's making jumpers!" </p><p>"Ugh, fine. One for you and one for me," Georgie rolls his eyes, buffing at his brother. To be honest, Louis never understood their banter and silly fights ever since they started doing it, he thought perhaps it was a twin thing with their own communication system, so he let them be. </p><p>Louis bends down to be at eye level with his twins, "What are you saying, sweethearts?" </p><p>Mattie nods to his brother and turns his attention back to Louis, "Mummy, we have to do one more kiss for Georgie and other one for me." </p><p>They warm his heart, all the time. </p><p>Louis is glad his boys are so excited to see him, sleepy but filling him with kisses. The two pairs of sleepy greenish eyes don't hurt the way he thought they would. </p><p>"They've been doing this all night, don't  worry love. Also, apparently I have to learn to knit jumpers faster than I thought." Anne says like it's a secret between them, making his children giggle.</p><p>"Yeah, thank you so much for looking after them. I know it was a bit short notice–"</p><p>"Oh, ush it! They're my grandbabies, I love these little evenings and you deserve a break every once in a while, especially with Harry out of town." </p><p>They quickly exchange their goodbyes not before Anne points out the twins behaved like angels, winking at his giggling toddlers, knowing perfectly it couldn't be farther from the truth. Louis laughs. He also loves this woman to pieces. </p><p>On the fifteen minute drive left to their home, Georgie falls asleep and Matty is trying to too because he probably doesn't want to walk whilst his brother is being carried home. They were getting too big to carry them both at the same time, especially without Harry to help him tonight, but Louis indulges them, he tells himself this'll be the last time.</p><p>His back hurts like the devil by the time he makes it to his bedroom, but he's determined to sleep with his babies tonight, at least that way he could try not to imagine all the things Harry must be doing right now in another bedroom. </p><p>It's not hard to get Matty to fall asleep for real at this point, clearly fighting exhaustion until his eyes can't open again.</p><p>George, on the other hand, hugs him tight the whole night around one of his legs, always an odd little mischievous monkey, noble and empathetic. How much can a 5 years old know about this stuff?</p><p>It gives him strength nevertheless.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. In Love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>And what about thinking and assessing the situation?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey, I'm back.<br/>I thank y'all for your time and comments. I read them all, I just responded to all of them too! I really appreciate how much you guys liked my story.<br/>On the other hand, I'm sorry I took some time to update. I think I didn't expect the response I got and felt the need to edit over and over the second chapter, I was especially insecure about a really big part of the plot that ultimately I left alone to be part of the story, mostly because it was always there, when the story was only for my entertainment but also because I wouldn't know where the story is going without it. It is what it is.<br/>Hope you like it. Lots of love xx.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Louis thinks about it for the next few days, Harry comes home and he's lovely to him and their kids.</p><p> </p><p>Louis thinks about it for the next few days, Grimmy calls and tells him he'll be there for him when he's ready to talk about it. He 's not. </p><p> </p><p>Louis thinks about it for the next few days and cries a bit in the bathtub because he loves him. <em>Fuck</em> <em>how much does he love him.</em></p><p> </p><p>Louis thinks about it for the next few days and nothing has changed, not dramatically anyway. </p><p> </p><p>Louis thinks about it for the next few days and in his mind the only words playing in an infinite loop are <em> what in hell were they thinking?  </em></p><p> </p><p>They live in the exact same flat, for over 7 years those walls have been their shelter, their home. Harry's bedroom over the years became their bedroom and Louis' bedroom eventually became the twins' nursery. The third bedroom that back in the day used to be Liam's, it's now their guest room and it was redecorated with the sole purpose of having somewhere their nanny and their housekeeper can sleep and rest comfortably if they have to stay over.</p><p> </p><p>Not for the first time in the last few days, Louis wonders how he couldn't see it before. He doesn't remember what was going through his head merely weeks ago, when his mother and Anne organized a dinner party together and invited just about everyone to celebrate love and family. </p><p> </p><p>Isn't that what mothers in law do? Well, at least those who are nice. </p><p> </p><p>But <em> he just... </em> didn't think about it. That day, Harry was all over the place, all over him with stolen kisses and bright smiles because if H is big on something it's in family and love. Louis felt loved that day in ways he cannot describe today. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> It 's stupid. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Louis can't help but be confused, for so long they've been the same, having their traditional friendly date nights with some of them becoming family nights with their wild toddlers; additionally when they need alone time they go to romantic restaurants to have dim lighted dinners, often enough that it became the reason why they got a nanny in the first place.</p><p> </p><p>Back in their uni days, they used to tell the friends who questioned them that they weren't anything serious, two friends having consensual adult fun. Louis doesn't remember when or why they stopped saying that, he thinks it was because even months before he got pregnant, people grew tired of asking. Nowadays Harry is a much sappier man who likes to take his time and their sex life has only gotten better, they still fuck as rough as when everything started but sleepy sex, candle lit or I-missed-you sex isn't off the table. Life hasn't changed much, except it has and he didn't realise. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Also Dorothy has no new information and apparently the house has been empty for a few days.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>When Harry gets home that night, Louis is finally determined to out straight ask him. Are you sleeping with someone else? Are we together-together? What's her name? Do you care if I am absolute bonkers and fuming jealous? </p><p> </p><p>It's really fucking late and he's already in bed, the twins long gone to sleep. Harry enters their bedroom, or his bedroom, whatever. It's been too long for this shit to be happening still. After years of sharing a life in such an intimate way, how come they've never properly talked about it, for fuck's sake. </p><p> </p><p>Harry is shirtless, only his boxers left when he climbs the bed and hugs Louis very tightly. </p><p> </p><p>"Geez, I missed you." Harry is rubbing his cheek against his chest and looking so cuddly Louis' heart aches. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Wanker. He loves him.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>"You saw me this morning," It doesn't sound drier than Louis' usual self does, which annoys him to no end. But Harry's kissing his neck and grabbing his hips that type of way, Louis is officially melting in his arms when he whispers, "there are many ways to miss someone" and slips his hand inside Louis' pants. </p><p> </p><p>It's unfair but Louis is desperate, starved for his touch, has been ever since he found out about the alleged affair. He hasn't been able to initiate himself or deny any act of intimacy of Harry's, not cuddles, sex or kisses. He's paralysed, on one hand he's terrified of being rejected, of begging for his affection too much. On the other hand he <em> loves </em>when Harry seeks him out, when Harry desires him and when he assures him, which is conflictive because no one doesn't deserves to have their cake and eat it too but he can't stop.</p><p> </p><p>It's sad, he thinks. A bit self destructive of course that he can't deny Harry right now. Not now, not ever. </p><p> </p><p>He's wearing fucking panties. Louis has been wearing them every day for the past week in an attempt to boost his own self esteem. It does the job. </p><p> </p><p>"Oh, but look what we have here. Pretty boy wearing pretty knickers."</p><p> </p><p>He's teasing, tone playful, probably smirking like the smug lil shit he is, Louis squirming and he should put a stop to it, start asking the real questions. But Harry's touching him everywhere. Harry's touching him <em> period </em>, for Christ sake.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Please love me.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>The way Harry fucks him; deep, long and caring, he's sweet and loving with his kisses, telling him everything he wants to hear, everything he <em> needs </em>to hear. "I can't deal with how sweet you are, look at you baby. I love you, Lou." </p><p> </p><p>For an instant, Louis feels that old overwhelming wave that comes with being loved. He stops that trail of thought, doesn't want to cry.</p><p> </p><p>"Lou, my baby, I'm gonna take them off, alright?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yes, please."</p><p> </p><p>In the midst of it, Louis can't help but think how all these are proof of how much H understands him, how automatically Harry's response is to his sexual and emotional needs. Regardless of how aware he's of the situation. </p><p> </p><p>When they're boneless and done, a soft ache deliciously roaming his body and Louis doesn't want to move an inch, too tired, too lonely. Harry cleans him up and manhandles him until there's barely any space between them, hugging him tightly. "Worn you out baby? You are the most precious thing in the entire planet."</p><p> </p><p>If he only knew that Louis already knew about the affair, the strange side-bird he has going on, he'd probably stop lying, however that's not the worst part about it. No, because Louis should be smarter than what he's doing right now. He should be registering the beautiful praises as lies, instead he's eating up every word, like he's a <em> thirsty lil slut </em> for his bloody attention, except well, <em> he is </em>. </p><p> </p><p>If this is exactly the kind of pathetic thing that makes Harry be unable to love him then what else would he do, right? But Louis couldn't make himself say it out loud, before long they both fell asleep like that. </p><p> </p><p>Next morning is exactly like many others, Harry wakes him up kissing him all over his face and doesn't say anything at all about whatever slut he's hiding from him. Louis really wants to hate him, scream at him but finds himself unable to, going about their morning as they usually would. "I'm gonna get the boys ready, be right back."</p><p> </p><p>"Sure, I'll have a quick shower, then I'll help you finish breakfast, okay? Don't think I can't see how tired you are, Lou."</p><p> </p><p>Louis gives him a soft smile before parting ways, bed left a mess and goes straight to his little boy's bedroom, chastising himself for being so obvious. </p><p> </p><p>Rest of the morning passes by as a blur, he's extra cheerful, almost obnoxious to the point the twins are laughing off what they call his 'silly behaviour' and that's mostly enough.</p><p> </p><p>Harry says goodbye with a sweet kiss on his lips and a bit of doubt showing on his eyes. "Call me in about an hour, please love. Can you?" </p><p> </p><p>Louis nods, also kissing two little overexcited heads goodbye, rushing them out the door. As soon as he hears the door close behind them though, the rigid smile he had going on during breakfast starts to crumble, running as fast as his legs are able, getting sick in the nearest toilet. </p><p> </p><p>He flushes the yuck from their white ceramic and doesn't question it then, even when he should have and goes about his day. </p><p>With his laptop, his wallet and keys, he gets in his car and drive to his destination.</p><p><em> BournBon </em> is the small coffee shop he goes to with Niall every Tuesday. He works from home, so it's nice to get out of the house once in a while to do things that are just for him, even if its favorite place it's bustling with rush hour, as per usual. Except this time for the life of him, he can't find his friend.  Maybe he changed hair colour <em> again. </em>Louis decides to buy the sweetest and more chocolatey coffee they have in the menu. He deserves it.</p><p> </p><p>"Oi, Lou! Over here." Niall waves him over from the other side of the caffé, already a steaming tea in his hands. </p><p> </p><p>Louis walks over, sipping on his coffee cup before it spills over, "What happened? Where's our usual table?"</p><p> </p><p>"They moved things around a bit. I thought it was a sign we needed change, so here I am." </p><p> </p><p>"I thought we dyed our hair when we needed change." Louis says with a raised brow, at least he gets to forget about his problems while teasing Niall. </p><p> </p><p>"Yeah, well…" Nialls bluff, rolling his eyes and that's how Louis knows this is gonna be good, "apparently I'm a grown up now and dyeing my hair makes <em> people </em> think I'm a dork and they're unable to take me seriously,  so…" </p><p> </p><p>"Wow, <em> people </em> have a lot of opinions." Louis replies, feeling a bit for Neil and his silent undisclosed crush, "I know I'm not <em> people </em>, u know what I mean, but I can take you seriously Neil." </p><p> </p><p>His friend's cheeks turn a dark reddish color, "Yeah of course you can and also, I'm so not a dork." </p><p> </p><p>It doesn't happen often but sometimes his friends remind him of his toddlers,  he hopes it's because his twins picked things up from their uncles and not the other thing around. </p><p> </p><p>"Uh, well Neil dorks can be cute."</p><p> </p><p>"Wot?" </p><p> </p><p>"I mean… it's not necessarily a bad thing, you know? Your dorkiness doesn't come off as immature, at least not to me." Louis says, giggling just a bit. It's nice to feel light hearted again. </p><p> </p><p>Niall's eyes absolutely shine at that, "You think?"</p><p> </p><p>"Yep, <em> many people </em> think that dorks are cute. You'd be surprised," Louis replies.</p><p> </p><p>"So, would you say Harry's a dork? A cute dork, right? Maybe you like that he's a dork," Niall nervously ask and Louis knows, he knows it's not really about Harry at all, it's about sneakily asking about dorks in romantic relationships, it's about Shawn; and maybe that's exactly why it does hurt, because foking everyone think they're in love. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Harry knows they're not.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>But well, he wouldn't have batted an eyelash a few weeks prior, not about being in love with Harry or about how he's such a dork he can't help but love him. He wouldn't have thought about any of it and Niall doesn't deserve any other answer than; "Harry is the cutest dork, in fact." </p><p> </p><p>It's the truth anyway. He doesn't think he ever seriously sat and thought 'oh, this and that are the reasons why I am in love with Harry Styles' not even once but perhaps, if he had to, how dorky he is would most likely make it to the list top 5.</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, okay then." Niall replies with a satisfied smile on his face, "So, how was your weekend?"</p><p> </p><p>Louis doesn't really want to discuss his weekend, he will have to avoid it and talk around it the best he knows how, thankfully talking about his twins are always his safest bet, "All about the little rascals of course, they're off their rockets lately." </p><p> </p><p>Niall laughs with his head back and Louis remembers how much their friends actually adore their children, "Oh, I didn't tell you! Matty kept trying to call me from Jamie's phone to set me up, did you know?" </p><p> </p><p>"No way, their piano teacher?" Louis giggles, almost not believing what he's hearing. Undeniably, they're Harry's offspring. 

</p>
<p> </p><p>"Yeah, at least that's what she said." Niall chuckles, wiggling his brows.</p><p> </p><p>"Shut it! How did he learn your number?" </p><p> </p><p>"It's on your kitchen counter, I'm one of the emergency numbers, truth be told I think Georgie is the one who dialed.." Niall shrugs it off, as if its nothing.

</p>
<p> </p><p>Louis laughs, his trouble makers just surprise him every day,"Do they even know what a set up is?"</p><p> </p><p>"I don't think so but they're bonkers, mate." Niall laughs, obviously joking, "From what I understand they want us to be friends so we can all hang out together."</p><p> </p><p>"Well, they do miss you"</p><p> </p><p>Niall smile is soft and gentle, "I know. I told Harold I'm clearing up next week so I can snatch them for a few days, he didn't tell you?"</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Maybe I didn't listen.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Well, that's good. They're at that age where they think everyone belongs to them, they'll love it."</p><p> </p><p>"They know so much for their own good, innit? Can't believe they're 5 already" </p><p> </p><p>Talking becomes easier, he loses himself in conversation about work, the twins shenanigans, movies and new music, Niall always allowing him to be <em>just</em> <em>Louis.</em></p><p> </p><p>It's nice and it doesn't last forever. Driving home from his lunch date, the quiet sound of his car and the rain is replaced by his most known ringtone. He hates that his phone automatically connects to his car every time he hops on it but Harry said it was safer, especially back then when they had two year olds. </p><p> </p><p><em> Harold </em>. He hits the green button on his screen and H's voice filters out. </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>"Hey, babe. What happened today? You didn't call me." </b>
</p><p> </p><p>Oh. Right. "H, god. I forgot I think"</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> He did not but he tried to. </em>
</p><p> </p><p><b>"Do you need help? I can get out of work early today, whatever you need."</b> </p><p> </p><p>"No, no. I'm peachy, don't worry luv. I had a lunch date with Niall, we talked so much it must have slipped my mind" </p><p> </p><p><b>"Yeah? Finally admitting to his Shawn Obsession?" </b>Louis can almost hear Harry's amused smile.</p><p> </p><p>"Eh, not quite. We're getting there," Louis replies.</p><p> </p><p>"<b>Gosh, I swear we are not the crazy ones." </b></p><p> </p><p>"That's up for debate." Louis says and Harry laughs through the line.</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>"Right, you love me though. How's the new article going?" </b>
</p><p> </p><p>"Ehh, didn't even open my laptop to be honest. Neil and I were chatting the whole time"</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>"Oh, well perhaps you can get on it tonight and I'll take care of Matt and George."</b>
</p><p> </p><p>"I don't need 'alone time', I-" </p><p> </p><p>There's noise in the background, somebody probably entering Harry's office without knocking.</p><p> </p><p> <em> He's not gonna think further about it. </em></p><p> </p><p>Harry interrupts him, <b>"uh okay, I'll be home just after the boys practice and make dinner. You need your rest. Love you, Lou."</b> </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Sure. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>"Mmm 'kay, me too." </p><p> </p><p>
  <b>"See you home."</b>
</p><p> </p><p>They hang up and the last streets of the ride home make it a restless one.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hey! Thank you for coming back and reading. I hope you liked this chapter, I am updating the third later tonight or tomorrow morning. Also, I'm  extending the story from 3 to 4 chapters because I had to cut the second chapter in half! </p><p>Let me know what do you think it's gonna happen next or what would you like to see! </p><p>PS: English is not my first language, I edited this chapter so much I'm sure there's bound to be some grammatical mistakes, don't be afraid to point them out please! </p><p>Again, thank u!</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thank you for reading. Let me know if you would actually like to read some more.<br/>Cheers xx.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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